


Through Time

by s_solo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Communication, Love/Hate, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-23 05:31:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13183353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/s_solo/pseuds/s_solo
Summary: The passing of time changes everything; they would find this out soon enough. As Rey begins training with Luke to become a Jedi Master, her past continues to haunt her. She can’t understand why Kylo Ren appears in her dreams, tormenting her every night. Certainly it is fear or anger that keeps him in her thoughts; after all, he is a sadistic monster. Or so she tells herself. Picking up shortly after the events ofThe Force Awakensand continuing five years into the future, this story follows a series of interactions between Rey and Kylo Ren as they navigate the strange bond that seems to draw them together.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story two years ago after the premiere of _The Force Awakens _and my subsequent obsession with the new story and characters. Since the release of _The Last Jedi _, this story now deviates from current canon. Don't ask me why I waited so long to post this...I couldn't tell you! But it was my first ever attempt at fan fiction, and the first I've shared publicly. I am currently working on a another, longer story that will follow the events of _The Last Jedi _. Hopefully you'll enjoy this one and, if so, keep an eye out for my next work! Thanks for reading! :)______

**4 months  
**

_Rey slid to a halt, her eyes transfixed on the scene below. She tried to call out, warning him of the danger, but her tongue was heavy in her mouth. Finn stood stiff next to her, similarly incapacitated by shock. Rey watched as Han Solo reached out and placed his hand upon the hilt of Kylo Ren’s lightsaber. The two figures appeared to be at an impasse, neither relinquishing control of the saber. A flash of red burst from the hilt and a blood-curdling scream erupted from Rey’s throat. She watched in horror as the glowing beam pierced the older man. Then suddenly she was no longer watching from afar: Rey found herself face to face with Kylo Ren. She glanced down, trying to reconcile the harrowing image from just moments ago to the smoldering red light that currently emerged from Kylo Ren’s lightsaber and disappeared into her chest. Rey’s eyes flashed from the saber to Kylo Ren, who wore an expression of confusion and fear and something else…grief? She watched in shock as his gloved hand reached up to touch her face, cupping her jaw gently in his palm. “Rey,” she thought he whispered, though his lips never moved. “Ben,” she breathed as she slumped to the side, losing her balance and falling down….down…down…as the darkness consumed her._

Rey jerked awake in bed; her body was shivering violently and her clothes were soaked through with sweat. She stared up into the pitch black room for a few minutes, allowing her eyes to adjust to the darkness while attempting to steady her breathing. Rey sat up and placed her feet on the floor, stretching her toes and relishing the feel of the cool, damp floor. She got up, quietly padded outside, and made her way out to the edge of the cliff upon which her new home sat. The sun had not yet risen; a thick grey mist cloaked the island below. The lush green mountainside seemed black and haunting in the dense fog, and the usually clear blue ocean was undetectable. Rey closed her eyes and breathed deeply, allowing the brisk morning air to soothe her nerves. She plopped down crossed-legged on the mossy ground, facing out toward the cliff edge, and tried to remember the meditation techniques Luke had taught her when she first arrived on the island. She practiced wiping her mind, willing away the images of Han on the bridge, of the lightsaber impaled in her chest, of the strange look on Kylo Ren’s face…

“A little early for meditation, don’t you think?”

Startled, Rey opened her eyes to see Luke sitting next to her on the ground, his piercing blue eyes fixed on hers. In the midst of her deep concentration she had not heard him approach.

“Meditation requires you to sever all connections with the world around you; to be one with the Force. And yet you are carrying a heavy burden this morning. Would you like to share, my apprentice?”

Rey considered fabricating a story to avoid another lecture, but decided against it. Anyways, as a Jedi Master, Rey was fairly certain he would know she was lying. Resigned to the truth, Rey admitted, “I had the dream again.”

Luke’s eyebrows furrowed slightly, a look of concern flashing across his face. He waited patiently for her to continue.

“I know I’m not supposed to dwell on it. ‘There is no emotion, there is peace,’” she whispered, reciting the words of the Jedi Code she had heard Luke repeat so many times.

“Then you have heard my words, yet you disregard my counsel,” he sighed. “You are powerful, my young apprentice, and the Force is strong in you. You have overcome every challenge I have thrown at you. Why now do you fail?”

“I have tried to shut out the dreams. I meditate every morning and every night just like you taught me. I don’t know why they still come.”

“Hmm,” Luke mused, “You say you are trying, but I have every confidence that you would be capable of stopping these thoughts if you truly desired to. Perhaps there are feelings associated with this dream that you want to dwell on?”

Rey’s eyes shot back up to meet Luke’s steady gaze. Affronted by his implication, she quickly rebuked: “Four months ago I watched Han Solo die at the hands of a monster! I stood there, frozen, unable to help as his own son murdered him! Why would I want to remember that?!” By the time she finished speaking her voice was cracking and moisture welled up in the corners of her eyes. Rey swallowed hard and forced back the tears that threatened to fall.

Luke remained still and calm, flinching only briefly at the morbid reminder of his old friend’s death. “There is no passion, there is serenity,” he added to her earlier recital of the Code.

Rey regained her composure and once again met Luke’s penetrating stare, this time prepared for his inevitable lecture.

After a moment, Luke closed his eyes and began, speaking as if to a ghost: “Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose. Fear is the path to the dark side. And once you start down that path, it will consume you.” He opened his eyes and studied Rey’s face, her wide eyes revealing a trace of trepidation. He continued, “A much wiser Jedi once taught me this, as I now strive to teach you. The most powerful Jedi can be destroyed by failing to let go of the things they love…they can and they have.” Luke bowed his head as he uttered the final words. Rey knew he was thinking of his father, Anakin Skywalker, who had been seduced to the dark side trying to save Luke’s mother. Though she could not say why, Rey’s stomach twisted with unease; still, she was not sure how this advice applied to her recurring dream.

“I have mourned the death of Han Solo. With your guidance I have accepted and forgiven my inability to save him. I do not understand…”

“Rey,” Luke interrupted her, “it is not Han Solo I speak of.”

More confused than ever, Rey opened her mouth to respond but was once again cut off by a slight shake of Luke’s head. Luke exhaled deeply before speaking, bracing himself for Rey’s reaction. “I wonder, is it hatred, fear or compassion you feel towards Kylo Ren?”

The air around them crackled and sizzled as Rey leapt to her feet. Luke felt her anger through the Force as if he had been struck in the chest. Her cheeks flushed and her eyes widened with resentment. Perhaps, he thought, she was not yet ready to accept what he had now suspected for quite some time.

Rey’s chest heaved and her expression was indignant, bordering on outraged. “Compassion?! Kylo Ren is an animal! How dare you even imply…”

“Don’t misplace your anger, Rey. I am not accusing you. Compassion is not a weakness. No one, not a Sith Lord, not even the Master of the Knights of Ren, is beyond saving. If anyone understands that, it’s me.”

Rey stared out past the cliff edge, focusing on the foamy water than was now emerging from the blanket of fog. She considered Luke’s words, already feeling shame for her outburst. Of course Luke didn’t mean to condemn her. It was he who had helped redeem his own father, Darth Vader, nearly 20 years ago. Still, something about his question nagged at her for a reason she wasn’t sure she wanted to scrutinize. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have lost my temper,” she muttered.

“There is no need to apologize. Compassion, when controlled, is what keeps the Jedi in the light. Instead, learn to control your emotions. Today we’ll continue your meditative training.” He waited for Rey to nod in agreement before continuing, “Let’s begin. Close your eyes, clear your mind.”

Rey shut her eyes and slowed her breathing, determined to rid herself of all memories of Kylo Ren…


	2. Chapter 2

**8 months**

_Rey, open your eyes. Open your eyes, Rey. I came to see you. Rey, wake up. Rey!_

Rey’s eyes bolted open, the ghostly image of Kylo Ren still tattooed in her mind. She had only a fraction of a second to wonder at the return of Kylo Ren to her subconscious after nearly four months of undisturbed sleep before her thoughts were interrupted by an unfamiliar noise. She jumped out of bed, her hand instinctually reaching out and summoning her saberstaff from the table across the room. The hilt flew into her hand and shockingly blue beams erupted from both ends. She raced outside and found Luke standing on the cliff edge peering into the darkness, his blue lightsaber readied at his side.

“He’s here,” Luke whispered.

“I know,” Rey admitted. Kylo Ren was on the island, headed their way. Rey didn’t have time to speculate about how he had located them before she was running after Luke as he raced back up to their hovel. She was on his heels as he crossed the threshold and slammed the door behind them. Luke turned sharply to face her and placed his hands on her shoulders, drawing her close and speaking quickly.

“I doesn’t matter how he found us. This is happening sooner than I expected. I’m sorry Rey, there is so much left for you to learn. But there is no time now; you are about to be tested. Remember what I have taught you. No emotion, peace.”

A hint of confusion mixed with fear passed over Rey’s face as she absorbed his words. “You mean…”

“Yes, you must face him, apprentice. He set out long ago to look for me, but he has come now for you. I have been monitoring his emotions for a while now; he is skilled at mental shielding but I have gotten glimpses into his thoughts from time to time. Kylo Ren means to take you.” When Rey opened her mouth to object, Luke ignored her and continued speaking rapidly. “Listen Rey, he is strong, but you have learned to restrain your power in a way he has not. He will most certainly be accompanied by stormtroopers, but he will face you alone, I have no doubt.” Luke paused, taking in the frightened look on her face, before finally saying, “I must hurry if we intend to escape this planet with our freedom and our limbs intact. Meet me on the shore on the south side of the island.” And with that, Luke was out the back door and sprinting down the mountain, lightsaber glowing at his side.

Rey dropped down to the cold floor, closed her eyes, and tried to shut out the distant sounds of boots pounding on stone. She digested everything Luke had said, trying to stifle the panic that was rising in her chest. _There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force._ Rey repeated the words of the Jedi Code to herself until every ounce of fear had dissipated. At last, she rose to her feet and strode back outside with as much confidence as she could muster.

Kylo Ren stood with his back to the small dwelling, staring out across the ocean through his dark mask. His troopers stood in formation around him; he allowed them the courtesy of thinking they were guarding him, though that was a farce. Kylo Ren needed no protection, save his lightsaber, which was currently hanging from his belt. He felt her presence before he heard her. Sensing her Force signature, he _saw_ Rey exit the stone house and walk towards his troop; determination and wrath radiated off of her in waves that only Kylo Ren could feel. She stopped ten meters away. His soldiers waited patiently for a command. Slowly, he turned to face the girl he had last seen from across the icy fracture in the forest floor on _Starkiller Base_. But the person standing before him was different. The girl he had battled eight months ago now held herself with incredible strength and aplomb; power emanated from her very being. Kylo Ren was taken aback by this change. He had imagined this encounter for many moons, but had not anticipated her obviously rapid mastery of the Force. He had also forgotten how appealing she was: how her slight body was taut with carefully restrained energy, how her wide eyes blazed with fire…Kylo Ren quickly composed himself, disconcerted by his intense emotional response to her presence.

“Rey, the scavenger girl.” He was not asking a question or offering a greeting; simply stating a fact.

Kylo Ren’s mechanical voice drifted to Rey, who studied him quietly before responding. The shrouded and masked Kylo Ren she now faced could have been the very same one she met in the woods on Takodana. If she had not delivered some of the blows herself, Rey never would have suspected that this menacing creature had nearly died in the snow eight months ago, blood seeping from his face and several nearly-fatal wounds. She narrowed her eyes, concentrating on the man that had slain his own father. _That is who stands before me, undeserving of my compassion_ , she thought, no matter what Master Luke may have said. Why then did she still have trouble hating him?

“The Master of the Knights of Ren has come halfway across the galaxy to see me…how flattering,” Rey mocked. She hoped the sarcasm in her voice hid the terror she felt underneath.

Silently, Kylo Ren approached Rey. As he walked, he signaled his troopers to lower their weapons. He came to a halt three feet from her; the robotic rasp that accompanied his breathing was the only sound to break the chilling silence. Finally, Kylo Ren spoke. “Have you reconsidered my offer?”

Rey knew he was referring to their final moments on _Starkiller Base_ when, in the midst of their lightsaber battle, Kylo proposed to mentor Rey in the ways of the Force. She remembered feeling confused at the time, wondering why he was offering to train her when he had just been trying to kill her. She had suppressed those feelings for a long time now, but they suddenly came flooding back. Had he really come here for her, as Luke had said? None of it made sense. Lost in her thoughts, Rey did not respond.

“I asked if you had reconsidered my offer,” he repeated, more forcefully this time. Rey could sense his patience waning.

“No,” Rey said simply. Kylo Ren’s hands twitched, reflexively fingering the lightsaber hilt at his side.

“Then I guess we are done here,” he replied mechanically. Kylo Ren raised his hand towards Rey and she felt the familiar feeling of helplessness as her body became stiff and paralyzed. She strained against the Force hold he had placed on her, but in vain. Even the practice she had against Luke had not prepared her to resist Kylo Ren’s sheer power. “The Supreme Leader warned me about you, but I had hoped you would come to your senses. You have left me with no choice.” He took a step closer and slowly reached his gloved hand out to rest flat against her cheek. The softness of the gesture took Rey by surprise. In a low voice, he said, “You will not escape me this time. But first, where is the old fool hiding?”

Rey sputtered and gulped for air as the Force hold around her neck and chest relaxed. Hers arms and legs were stiff as ever, but she managed to snarl, “I will not be your prisoner again.”

His gaze still fixed on Rey, Kylo ordered his troopers to search their cabin and the surrounding areas for Luke. They obeyed at once, filing past in pairs to scour the mountain. Shortly, Kylo Ren and Rey were left alone by the cliff edge, standing in utter silence. In the distance, the sun was beginning to creep into the sky, basking the mountainside in light. As if remembering himself, Kylo turned and looked out across the choppy ocean, speaking to the chilled air.

“Perhaps you don’t fully understand the situation. As we speak, General Hux is preparing his troops to invade Bavva and destroy the pathetic remnants of the Resistance. General Organa, FN-2187, Poe Dameron, and now Luke Skywalker: your wretched friends will soon be imprisoned or slain. You will have nothing left. It seems you have only three choices: you can leave with me willingly as my new apprentice, I can take you unwillingly as my prisoner, or…” Kylo Ren’s words trailed off.

“Or you will kill me,” Rey stated matter-of-factly.

Kylo Ren spun around at her words, his head tilted slightly. He stepped closer until they stood mere centimeters apart. “I don’t want to kill you.”

“Why?” Rey whispered, “You had no problem killing your own father.”

“Han Solo was a worthless smuggler who cared for no one but himself!” Kylo Ren yelled, his shaking voice betraying his rage.

“Han Solo was a great man!”

“Enough!” Kylo Ren spat, clearly outraged. His anger, however, was now matched by Rey’s. With a great deal of effort, Rey broke free from the invisible bonds that had been restraining her. She stepped back into a fighting stance, blue blades erupting from each end of the saberstaff now grasped in her hand. Kylo staggered backwards from the force of her escape, but quickly regained his footing. They now stood a few meters apart, slowly circling each other, lightsabers poised to fight. The air was thick with tension as they waited for the other to strike first.

“That is a powerful weapon,” Kylo Ren acknowledged her newly crafted saber.

“Powerful enough to defeat you.”

“If you face me now you will fail. I would advise you to consider your options one last time.”

“There is only one option,” Rey murmured as she lunged towards Kylo Ren, swinging her saberstaff up through the air and slashing it back down to meet his defensive block. The second blue blade arced over her head and crashed down, only to be deflected by his next parry. Slashing, stabbing and slicing, she drove him back up the hill towards the stone dwelling she called home. For each powerful maneuver Rey initiated, Kylo Ren countered with an effortless check from his crackling blade. _He isn’t even attempting to attack me,_ Rey thought, puzzled at Kylo’s lack of offensive strategy.

Suddenly, a roaring noise sounded in the distance to their right, like an engine igniting. Rey had nearly forgotten about Luke’s escape plan; she had been lost in her confrontation with Kylo Ren. As if reading her thoughts, Kylo swung a sharp blow at his assailant that sent her rolling across the damp ground. Momentarily relieved of her weapon, Rey decided that running was her best option. Her opponent was strong, too strong; he was not attacking her with full force, but she had no idea how long she could survive the battle if it escalated. The idea of fleeing sickened her, but she guessed it was what Luke would advise. Though her training was underway, Rey knew she had a long journey ahead before she would be a Jedi Knight. And judging from Kylo Ren’s abilities, she needed to finish her training if she had any hope of defeating him. Determined, though she loathed the decision, Rey dodged another strike and spun to face the south side of the island. Summoning her saberstaff as she ran, Rey darted off down the rocky path towards the beach.

Enraged, Kylo Ren chased after Rey. He was not about to let her escape his clutches again. He focused his energy on stopping her dead in her tracks, but she resisted without faltering. Down the mountain he pursued her, but she was fast, gliding effortlessly across the familiar landscape. The sound of engines coming to life grew louder as they made their way closer to the water. And then Rey turned a corner and emerged onto the rocky seaside clearing, Kylo Ren trailing about twenty paces behind. In front of them loomed a hulking Lambda-class shuttle that had certainly seen better days; for a split second Kylo Ren marveled at the fact that the ship was still operable. Unfazed by the ship’s size and functionality, Rey dashed towards the shuttle’s extended ramp, never pausing to glance behind. The platform began closing before she entered, forcing her to dive inside.

 “Rey!” The thunderous bellow echoed against the mountainside as the door sealed behind her and the ship lifted off the ground. Kylo Ren stopped in the middle of the clearing, incensed. Rey sprinted into the ship’s cockpit and watched from above as Kylo dropped to his knees and pounded the ground with his fists. Below, four stormtroopers emerged onto the shore and began shooting up at their ascending craft, though the blasts were deflected by the ship’s shields. At the reemergence of his soldiers, Kylo Ren rose to his feet and slowly lifted his hands in the air. From the safety of the ship’s interior, Rey could feel Kylo’s intense exertion, his anger, his raw power. With a jolt, the ship paused in midair, metal creaking under the strain. Kylo Ren was attempting to pull their ship straight out of the air; Rey’s stomach twisted with the sickening realization. She glanced sideways at Luke, who was concentrating on directing all of the ship’s energy to the forward thrusters. She only just noticed the flash of panic that crossed his face. Below, Kylo screamed in agony as he forced the ship downward, slowly pulling Luke and Rey towards himself. Rey looked around wildly, searching for any way to distract him. Wildly, and without reason, Rey closed her eyes and called out to him through the Force.

_Kylo._

Rey felt Kylo Ren’s shock as the single word entered his mind. In his momentary distraction, the ship buckled forward and sped back in its original direction. Realizing his failure, Kylo howled expletives into the sky. Rey watched, horrified, as he slashed the nearest trooper in two: head and body collapsed to the ground, completely severed. Luke quickly regained his control on the ship and they rose, higher and higher, until Kylo Ren and his remaining three soldiers were tiny dots on the landscape.

Rey collapsed into the co-pilot chair, too stunned to think properly. Her heart was pounding and her mind racing. She half heard herself telling Luke to warn the Resistance of Snoke’s plans. As Luke fiddled with the radio to get a proper signal, Rey squeezed her eyes shut and frantically contemplated what had just happened. She soon drifted into an uneasy sleep, the ghostly image of Kylo Ren greeting her once more to torment her dreams…


	3. Chapter 3

**8 months, 11 days**

_Rey._

The word wandered into her consciousness. Rey’s head spun around, searching for the source of the interruption. Chewie growled curiously, inquiring about the source of her distraction. With a growing sense of terror welling in her chest, Rey slowly got up and excused herself from the _Falcon_. She left Chewie sitting in a mess of wires on the floor, baying softly at her as she exited the craft. She could help the wookiee with ship repairs later; for now, Rey’s mind was absorbed in the deep voice that had just…appeared…inside her head. She swallowed hard, trying to convince herself that it was just her imagination. Only three days ago she had somehow managed to communicate with Kylo Ren telepathically. That was different, though. Right?

_Rey?_

The voice was back, and clearer this time. Rey’s heart sank; there was no mistaking it now. Kylo Ren was speaking to her.

_Leave me alone_ , she thought desperately.

_You did this._

_Leave me alone!_ She was pleading now. Rey was terrified at this new dimension of connection that they shared. She didn’t know why or how it was happening, but it scared her. Rey bolted in the direction of Master Luke’s room in the leaders’ quarters. As she ran, she threw all of her mental capacity at blocking Kylo out of her mind. It seemed to work, as his voice was no longer haunting her. Still, she banged wildly on Luke’s door when she reached it. She nearly broke down when no one answered; distressed, she ran back in the direction of the _Millennium Falcon_. Temporarily blinded by the darkness outside, Rey nearly knocked Luke over as she rounded a corner.

“Rey, are you alright?” Luke asked, clearly concerned. “I just spoke with Chewie; he said you were…”

“I need your help!” Rey interrupted him, panting now that she had covered the length of the Resistance Base in mere minutes.

“Breathe, Rey. Use the Force to calm yourself, and then tell me what is wrong.” Luke’s eyes, furrowed with worry, searched her face for a sign of her grief.

Rey hesitated. Suddenly, she wondered if telling anyone about her connection with Kylo Ren was a mistake. When Luke nodded for her to speak, she shoved her concerns away and the words tumbled out of her mouth. She told Luke of her interaction with Kylo Ren on the island, of the strange feeling that prompted her to reach out to Kylo as a distraction, and their brief communication that evening. Luke listened intently, refraining from interrupting her until he was sure she had finished completely. He smiled kindly down at her, his eyes sad.

“I’m glad you confided in me, Rey. There is nothing to be ashamed of,” he said to quell her unease. She smiled weakly at that. “Can you feel his presence now?”

“No. I shut him out, I think. I don’t know. I imagined putting walls up in my head and then he seemed to go away.”

Luke sighed in relief, although Rey sensed more complex emotions under the surface. “That was incredibly perceptive of you, my apprentice. I think building up your mental defenses will be the best solution. Like the dreams you used to have, strong mental fortitude will keep you from straying off of the path.” Luke’s smile brightened when he saw the visible relief spread across Rey’s face. “We can begin training now, if it will help ease your mind.”

Rey smiled again, sincerely this time. Confiding in Master Luke was the correct thing to do, she was now sure. A small voice in the back of her head disagreed; not Kylo Ren’s voice, from before, but her own. She quickly shoved the thought aside and joined Master Luke in one of the training centers to begin practicing. She never wanted to hear Kylo Ren’s voice again, especially not inside her head. The tiny antagonistic part of her brain reared its head again in protest, but she ignored it. Kylo Ren was a monster. _There is no emotion, there is peace._


	4. Chapter 4

**1 year, 10 months**

Alarms were blaring overhead. Chaos ensued as ground soldiers, fighter pilots, droids, and scores of stray Resistance fighters scrambled to man theirs posts and prepare their ships for combat. Three human fighters, one female and two males, emerged from a hangar in the midst of the mayhem, trailed closely by a white droid with striking orange markings. One of the males, distinctive in his orange pilot jumpsuit, halted and gestured for his companions to stop. Rey and Finn pulled up short, glancing in the direction indicated by Poe Dameron.

“My ship’s that way,” Poe explained. “Come on, Beebee-Ate.”

The droid emitted a series of beeps, to which Poe replied, “No, Beebee, we can’t go with Rey and Finn. We will see them very shortly, I promise.”

Poe turned towards Rey and Finn and pulled them into a spine-crushing embrace. Rey smiled and called out a brief farewell to Poe as he hurried to his fighter with BB-8 spinning along behind him.

“See you in a few hours!” Finn yelled across the hangar, though Poe was already out of earshot. “Well Rey, it’s just you and me now.”

“You and me and the rest of the Resistance,” Rey clarified, trying hard to keep her voice bright, but failing miserably. Finn and Poe were better at feigning optimism than she was.

Trying hard to quash the gloom in her voice, Finn smiled and muttered, “Oh, c’mon!”

The duo sped to meet up with the rest of their assigned troop. Finn was handed a blaster rifle from a nervous-looking officer, but Rey declined the same offer, instead retrieving a saberstaff hilt from her waistband. Finn inspected his new weapon closely as a high-ranking official explained the battle strategy to the eager soldiers. Rey only half listened to the speaker describing their defensive plans, since just this morning she had been in attendance at a strategic meeting with the leaders of the Resistance themselves. She had been an integral part of formulating the plan to fend off General Hux’s armies; her time spent as a captive on _Starkiller Base_ had given her unique insight into the reasoning of the First Order, much to the pleasure of General Leia Organa and Luke Skywalker. It was at this meeting that Rey learned that the First Order had intercepted intelligence concerning the location of the Resistance Base on Wor Tandell. Luckily, General Organa was alerted of the defensive breach immediately, although they were left with a paltry five hours to begin evacuation. Civilians and non-combat workers had been escorted off of the planet to safety, but there was no time for the remaining members of the Resistance to evacuate; the only option was to meet the First Order in battle, hopefully stalling long enough to complete the evacuation. Rey’s thoughts now drifted to Luke and General Organa, hoping they would remain safe at each other’s sides for the duration of the battle.

After what seemed like ages, Rey and Finn were released to their posts. Trotting along after their comrades, the unlikely pair made their way to the outskirts of the base. The dark clouds overhead heightened Rey’s sense of dread. _There is no chaos, there is harmony_ , she recited to herself as she paced back and forth along the edge of the forest. Rey noticed Finn anxiously fiddling with his blaster, and guessed that he had given up on his positive facade.

To their left, the unmistakable sound of speeding engines was followed by three TIE fighters zooming past overhead. Seconds later, a throng of X-wings hurtled by in the opposite direction. Blasts from laser cannons and concussion missiles filled the sky, most of which hit unintended targets, shaking the ground upon impact. Rey ignited her saber, preparing for combat.

The tree next to Rey was suddenly hit with a barrage of blaster fire as stormtroopers appeared from the shadows of the forest. The white-armored soldiers flooded in and were met with equal flak from the Resistance fighters. Rey’s saber twirled in the air, blocking blast after blast and sending the deadly fire back to its unsuspecting owners. Finn and Rey battled alongside each other for what seemed like hours. After teaming up to defeat a particularly competent assailant, Finn and Rey were summoned with the rest of their squadron to provide reinforcements in another sector of the battlefield. They took off running after their leader into the forest.

Out of nowhere, Finn and Rey were blown off of their feet as an explosion ripped apart the ground around them and the surrounding trees. A rogue missile from a TIE fighter had hit the forest floor in front of them, effectively isolating the duo as their comrades forged ahead into battle. Rey struggled to her feet; the world was spinning around her and she forced herself to hold back the contents of her stomach. She frantically scanned the area for Finn, and finally spotted him beneath a collection of shattered tree and soil remnants. She ran to his side and helped him to his feet. For a long while they clung to each other for support.

“We need to get back to the group,” Finn panted. They both looked around, clearly confused as to how to locate their fellow Resistance fighters.

“I think we were headed this way,” Rey pointed ahead.

“I’ll take your word for…” Finn was cut off by the sound of renewed blaster fire accompanied by boots stomping through the trees behind them. He cried out and collapsed to the ground. Frantic, Rey knelt down and noticed the deep red stain swelling around the left shoulder of his jumpsuit. She pressed her palm roughly against his exposed flesh, hoping the pressure would hamper the already-substantial loss of blood. Finn winced in pain, but Rey motioned for him to keep quiet as the offending group of six stormtroopers surrounded them.

Rey forced herself to stay calm, despite seeing no obvious way out of their predicament. After a long and uneasy standoff, Rey rose and raised her hands in the air. Desperately, she attempted to distract the troopers long enough for Resistance soldiers to cross their path and bring aid. “I demand to see your leader, General Hux.”

“We do not take orders from Resistance scum,” the closest trooper replied.

“I have a message for Hux from General Organa, and I don’t think he would appreciate his lackeys withholding critical intelligence.”

Clearly angered by her insolence, the same trooper spat, “Keep quiet, prisoner, or I will make sure you meet the same fate as your friend.” He motioned towards Finn with the business end of his blaster rifle.

Sensing her strategy failing to delay the First Order soldiers, Rey carefully focused her mind instead on her next words: “You _will_ leave us alone and return to your ships.” She knew it was a risky move, with six troopers to manipulate, but it was her last resort. To her amazement, half of the troopers began to turn away and head back in the direction they had come. Before they could disperse, however, the vocal trooper commanded them to halt. “She is using mind tricks,” he explained to them. To Rey he said, “The First Order will not fall for your Jedi deceit.”

Finn stirred weakly beside Rey; he was losing blood and consciousness at a frightening rate. “Please, this soldier needs medical attention! Let me escort him to a med unit,” Rey pleaded.

“You are coming with us,” the trooper in charge said, signaling to his recruits to seize the prisoners.

Nearly two years ago Rey had been imprisoned on _Starkiller Base_ under the guard of Kylo Ren. Knowing she would not succumb to that fate again, Rey lashed out at the two troopers that attempted to grab her arms. Her saberstaff blazed to life, the double beams glowing threateningly in the dim forest light. At once, the remaining troopers aimed their weapons at Rey and fired. Rey blocked each blast gracefully, slashing her blades this way and that through the air. Outraged, the two closest troopers rushed her while she was distracted by another barrage of blaster fire. The troopers slammed her hard to the ground, knocking her saber out of reach and pinning her down. The leader approached, blaster rifle aimed. Rey closed her eyes, heard the click of his trigger, and waited for the inevitable fatal impact. But the pain never came. Instead, the two troopers pinning her down were ripped away and sent crashing into a nearby tree.

_Rey, are you okay?_ The low voice infiltrated her mind for the first time in over a year. Confused and still terrified, Rey opened her eyes to find the laser blast from the rifle suspended in midair before her. The six troopers that had assaulted them were laying on the forest floor in various states of disarray and consciousness. The blaster beam threatening Rey flew backwards into the helmet of the trooper who had discharged it moments before. Rey spun around, hoping to see Luke having come to her aid. Her fears were confirmed, however, when she saw the identity of her savior. Standing between two trees, chest heaving from the exertion, was Kylo Ren. He was just as Rey remembered him from their last encounter over a year ago: shrouded in black and completely dehumanized by his dark, concealing mask. The pair stared at each other in silence for a long moment before a whimper from Finn brought Rey back to her senses.

_Finn needs help_ , she whispered, though her lips never moved. Why she was asking help from this man, she was not entirely sure. Kylo continued to stare at Rey, either unfazed or simply unaware of the bloody ex-stormtrooper laying crumpled on the ground.

Frustrated by his silence, Rey spoke aloud: “Why did you save us, then?” She meant the question rhetorically, but inside she racked her brain for a possible explanation.

As they stared in tense silence, a smoking TIE fighter fell from the sky above. Upon impact with the planet’s surface, the ship was consumed in a violent explosion that sent shockwaves through the surrounding forest. Rey was lifted off her feet for the second time that day and lost consciousness upon landing. When she finally opened her eyes, Kylo Ren was kneeling over her with his ungloved hand lightly touching her forehead. The connection that had haunted her since the interrogation on _Starkiller_ was magnified tenfold by the contact. This feeling was different though, softer and undemanding. Rather than invading her mind, he seemed to be imparting strength into her. Vaguely, Rey recalled something Luke had told her about Jedi healing powers, and she realized with a start that Kylo Ren was saving her for a second time today.

“Wha..?” Rey uttered, but was quickly cut off.

“Don’t speak,” the mechanical voice stated. Rey tried to sit up but was forced back down by a strong hand on her shoulder.

“Why are you helping me?” She finally managed to say, ignoring his requests to stay quiet.

“I – I don’t know,” he stammered; his uncertainty contrasted sharply with his usual confident manner. To Rey’s surprise, he wasn’t finished. “Come with me.”

“Come with you? Where? Why?” she asked, startled by his request.

He paused, apparently deep in thought. “I cannot ignore this connection any longer. The Force has created this…bond.” After another long pause, “I first felt it when I interrogated you on _Starkiller Base_. Clearly it has been growing stronger. Much stronger.”

“I don’t know what you want me to do about it. I have shielded you from my mind successfully for over a year…”

“Oh please, Rey. Do not mock me. Your feeble attempts to keep me out are…”

Kylo halted when Rey narrowed her eyes, her contempt for his words was obvious.

“That’s not what I mean.” He struggled for the right words. “This bond is more powerful than any mental shielding either of us could possibly summon. I have respected your wishes, stayed away. I contemplated my options… And I have made up my mind.”

“And do I get any say in this?” Rey spat, disgusted by his presumptuous speech.

“Rey, we can’t pretend like this isn’t happening. Think of how powerful we could be together.” His voice shook with unspoken visions of potential.

Rey could hardly believe what she was hearing. What horrible irony had brought her here, face to face with the enemy turned…ally? She searched her memories, remembering their first meeting, their encounters on _Starkiller Base_ , her bizarre dreams, their seemingly impossible communications. She thought about the way she wanted to hate him, wanted to kill him, but could not bring herself to do so. Could he really be feeling the same way about her? She had a hard time believing it. This must be some trick…some evil plot to turn her to the dark side. “I don’t believe you,” she finally stated.

_I need you to trust me._ His voice rang in her head. She couldn’t deny his sincerity, nor the unexpected emotion his words elicited in her. Rey trembled, not trusting Kylo…not even trusting herself. Was it compassion, as Luke had suggested, or something else that drew them together?

_I don’t know who to trust_ , Rey admitted. She struggled against the weight of Kylo Ren’s hands, holding her down, before managing to rise to her feet. She backed up slowly, head spinning from the sudden movement. She wasn’t sure whether to run, stay or call for help.

“Rey, come with me. I will oversee the completion of your training. Together there will be no one who can oppose us.”

As Rey contemplated his words, images of Luke, Finn, Poe, Chewie, BB-8, and Han flashed across her mind. Suddenly she was disgusted at herself for even entertaining the thought. “I stand against everything the First Order represents. Any connection we may or may not have is irrelevant. I will not betray myself and my friends to stand with you in the shadows.”

Kylo took a step forward and reached out to grab her arm, but a yell sounded from amidst the trees.

“Rey! Finn!” the voice of Poe Dameron called. A guttural howl in Shyriiwook rang out. The sounds of dozens of soldiers making their way through the forest grew louder.

Kylo Ren grabbed Rey and quickly stepped behind a tree, blocking the emerging Resistance supporters from view. Rey struggled to call out, but Ren’s hand over her mouth muffled her cry.

“Finn!” Poe spotted Finn on the ground about ten meters from where Kylo Ren and Rey stood huddled behind a tree. Poe ran to the unconscious, bloody body of Finn and kneeled down beside him, checking his pulse. “Take him up to the med unit, now!” Chewie, standing closest to Finn, responded immediately, hefting Finn up over his shoulder and heading back towards the base.

From the trees in which Poe’s squadron had just emerged, a young soldier came into view, panting, and delivered a report to Poe: “Captain, the First Order armies are retreating. Eighty-one troopers have been captured and the rest have either left the planet or are trying to do so now.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant,” Poe replied. On his signal, the fighters started to move deeper into the woods to continue their search for Rey. One man, however, took a moment to scan the area before following the others. He spun around slowly, his thermal imaging scanner poised in front of him. The scanner picked up two heat signatures behind a nearby tree; cautiously, he approached. At the sound of a twig snapping behind the tree the man began to call for help, but was at once silenced by the quick slice of a crackling red blade. The deadly blow fell too late, though. The Resistance fighters sprinted back to the scene, both triumphant at having cornered Kylo Ren and terrified by the sight of their fallen comrade, laying in a quickly expanding puddle of blood. Kylo still clutched Rey, arms clasped tight around her petite body.

“Let her go,” Poe threatened.

“She is coming with me.”

“I think you have misread the situation, Kylo Ren: _you_ are coming with _us_.”

Before Kylo could respond, Rey elbowed him hard in the gut and slipped out of his reach, running to safety beside Poe. Kylo Ren wheezed and coughed, wrestling with the lack of air in his lungs. His disappointment and hurt were palpable; Rey could feel his pain as if she were experiencing it herself. She swallowed back feelings of pity, forcing herself to shut out the connection between them.

_Rey_ , he whispered silently, now pleading.

“Arrest him,” Poe ordered his soldiers. The group of men and women advanced towards Kylo Ren, weapons drawn.

Kylo’s last glace towards Rey was filled with longing and misery, or at least that’s what she could sense behind the mask. She held his gaze, refusing to show weakness or sentiment. _There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no passion, there is serenity,_ she told herself.

Kylo Ren casually waved his hand through the air and the nearest attackers were sent flying backwards. With that, he turned and ran off through the woods. The Resistance supporters followed him, yelling orders to each other to split up and canvas the area. Rey knew it was no use; he would be in a ship and off the planet in a heartbeat. Her mind reeled with new information. She wondered how much of what she had learned today could possibly be true. With a sick feeling in her stomach, Rey also wondered if she had made the right choice. _Yes,_ she told herself, _this is where I am supposed to be: with my friends, with Master Luke, on the light side of the Force_. Yet she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing. Now that Kylo Ren was gone, she felt confused and oddly lonely. She couldn’t reconcile her feelings, let alone make sense of them. She repeated the words of the Jedi Code to herself and attempted to ignore the thoughts that threatened to overwhelm her. Drained of energy, she allowed Poe to put his arm around her and guide her back to the main base. There, a nurse was waiting to attend to her injuries. The deepest wounds of the day though, Rey knew, would not heal so easily.


	5. Chapter 5

**2 years, 9 months**

_Click. Whoosh. Thum._ Behind her a blast door opened and closed. Soft breathing came from the corner, each exhale accompanied by a robotic whir. Rey knew who was there before he entered her field of vision. In fact, she had always known; his existence was a constant hum in the back of her mind, even with her mental shields up. And now, as they stood closer than they had in a year’s time, their connection buzzed to life. Pulses of Force energy radiated from his body to hers, betraying his unusually emotive demeanor. From the chair where Rey was bound, her eyes settled on him as he came around to face her. She focused her gaze on the masked figure of Kylo Ren. What was going on inside his head after their last encounter on the Resistance Base? Of course it would be easy to drop her defenses and probe through his mind to find out, but she had resisted that temptation for a long time now. And so had he. What now did he have planned for her?

“So the scavenger girl gets caught again. I hear my stormtroopers found you hiding out on Giju with Master Luke. I imagine two Jedi Masters are fairly conspicuous on a dump like Giju; if I didn’t know better I would say you were trying to get caught.” Kylo stared at Rey, assessing her response to his goading. Rey stared back in silence, her face unreadable.

“Why am I here?” Rey demanded. When he didn’t respond, she said, “What do you want from me?”

His voice was suddenly serious. “You know what I want.”

Rey let those words slowly sink in. For the past year she had tried convincing herself that their last conversation during the battle on Wor Tandell was all a lie. That Kylo Ren was putting on an act to turn her to the Dark side. There was no other way for her to deal with her conflicted emotions. She felt indescribable shame for having considered leaving the fight with him and embarrassment by her general weakness towards him. She had nearly convinced herself that it was all some vile mind trick. Yet, despite all her convictions, part of her still ached to call out to him…to see him again. The same part that was comforted by his subtle presence in the back of her mind. Unable to admit her weakness, Rey whispered, “And you know you can’t have it.”

He stared at her for a long moment before sitting down in the chair opposite hers. A narrow metal table separated them physically, but across the table the Force sizzled with electricity. Kylo Ren waved his hand and the restraints around Rey’s wrists and ankles released, leaving her completely unbound. He reached around and removed his helmet, lying it on the table between them. Rey’s stomach twisted uncomfortably; she had not seen the man under the mask since their encounter on _Starkiller Base_. A thin scar ran the length of his face from where she had cut him years ago. Underneath the scar was the same face as before, except its expression was more frenzied and desperate than she had seen. She realized, with another sick flip of her insides, that she found him appealing, handsome even. They sat like that for what seemed like an eternity, with tension, emotion, and something deeper stirring between them. Finally unable to bear the awkward silence, Rey looked away, embarrassed. Kylo continued to stare.

“I told you once that I could take whatever I wanted. You will join me, but I want you to accept it willingly,” he explained.

“I can’t.”

“You can and you will.”

“Why do you even care about what I want?” she wondered, truly curious.

“I have never felt…connected…to another person. I have spent my whole life surrounded by people who will never…understand. Not like you understand. I never needed anything like I need you. And I will stop at nothing to keep you.”

Rey had no doubt that his words were true. He spoke with the deepest sincerity, and she was stricken by the way he opened up to her. She never expected honesty from this man…and she certainly never expected to care. But this was insane! She was not going to abandon her life at the whim of a madman. She meant for her words to come out stinging, but instead they rolled gently off her tongue. “I can’t stay here with you.” A wild thought crossed her mind, and she looked into his eyes, pleading. “Help me off of this ship; _you_ can come with _me_.” His eyes narrowed at her suggestion. “Not just for me. Your mother has never given up on you. Please.”

“This is my place: in the darkness. This is where we both belong. You are filled with light, but there is also darkness. Together we will rule this galaxy and finish what my grandfather started,” Kylo Ren stated confidently.

“There is still hope. You don’t need to stay here doing Snoke’s bidding.”

Annoyed, Kylo Ren eyed her warningly but kept his voice level. “Do not mock me. I can feel your thoughts, your emotions, your very heartbeat. You cannot hide from me. I know that you too desire this fate.”

Kylo Ren’s voice reverberated inside her head. Despite feeling deep down that his words were true, Rey could still not allow herself to admit to such treachery. Disgusted with herself, and Kylo Ren by association, Rey’s patience disappeared and she spat venom at him: “A friend of Snoke is an enemy of mine. You are no better than him. He hides away like a coward while you do his dirty work.” Before she could stop herself, Rey added, “You’re his pawn and nothing else – not to me, not to anyone.”

Rey realized too late that it was the wrong thing to say. Kylo Ren’s eyes grew large with anger. “Don’t you dare…”

“Don’t I dare what? Call you out for what you truly are? You were a monster when I met you and you are a monster now. I will never join…”

“Enough!” Kylo Ren jumped up and slammed his fists on the table.

Rey stood up slowly and matched his stance, palms flat against the table, unintimidated by his glower. They stood in strained silence, each breathing heavily with anger: Kylo infuriated by Rey’s insolence and Rey frustrated with the conflicted emotions warring inside her. Rey’s exasperation with herself was displaced onto Kylo Ren as she muttered, barely audible, “You are pathetic.”

Enraged beyond anything Rey had witnessed, Kylo wrenched up the table between them and flung it across the room. Fury in the form of Force energy blasted her in the chest, thrusting her backwards and into the wall. Kylo Ren approached her as she struggled against the bonds that pinned her there. Terrified, she realized she had gone too far this time. She had taken his humanity towards her for granted, pushing him until it was too late. She struggled to breathe, too terrified to make a move against him.

Kylo Ren grabbed her shoulders, now trapping her against the wall both physically and through the Force. He leaned in towards her, so close she could feel his warm breath on her face. His eyes bore into hers, blazing with an uncontrollable fire. Fearing his outrage, Rey reached out through their connection and caressed his mind, attempting to calm him out of his fury. Stunned, Rey felt his wrath wane, but the tension between them did not subside. In its place was a stronger, more intense feeling that made Rey blush, though she wasn’t immediately sure why.

“I’m not crazy. I know you want this,” Kylo whispered, his voice deep and guttural. He leaned in even closer, their faces nearly touching. Rey could hardly breathe; her mind had gone blank. What was happening? Was this a sick fantasy of her subconscious? _No,_ she told herself, _this doesn’t feel like a dream_.

_I assure you, this is no dream,_ his voice responded in her head.

She gasped at that, completely bewildered. _And he can read my mind now?_

_I told you. There are no limits_. His eyes bore into hers, burning a hole straight through her. Her cheeks flushed and something stirred deep inside her. Panicking, she looked away.

“I need to get off this station,” Rey hissed, pushing back forcefully against his strong grip. They struggled for a few moments before Kylo managed to grab her wrists and pin them over her head. He towered over her, desire surging inside his body as she gazed up helplessly at him. He wasn’t about to let her go…not now.

“Tell me I’m wrong, then, and I’ll leave you alone” he quietly demanded. His eyes were still fixed on Rey’s and his lips twitched nervously. Rey licked her lips involuntarily. Her heart pounded in her chest as Kylo Ren’s face hovered dangerously close to hers. “Tell me I’m wrong,” he commanded once more.

“I – I…” she mumbled. And before she could protest, his lips were against hers. Years of built up tension and passion peaked as his lips crushed into hers feverishly. The bond between them heightening the passion and intoxicating them both. His powerful body pressed against her frame almost painfully. Overcome with desire, Rey kissed him back with equal fervor. Kylo released her wrists and grabbed the back of her head roughly, forcing her lips even harder against his. Her hands found his chest, feeling the hardened, flexed muscle beneath his black cloak. He parted his lips and hers responded eagerly. A quiet moan escaped her throat, inflaming Kylo’s lust. His hands traveled down her back and came to rest on her waist, holding her close. Amidst their embrace, Rey pulled back slightly and glanced up at Kylo Ren. “We shouldn’t be…” she started to say, but was quickly shushed as Kylo’s lips met hers once more. Suddenly, Rey was panicked by his proximity, by the intimacy between them; she felt ashamed and unbearably weak. This man was a cold-blooded murderer; he killed Han Solo, his own father. How could she possibly have trusted him enough to let this happen? Roughly, Rey extracted herself from his grip. “We can’t,” she panted breathlessly but determined. “I must leave now. Please.”

“Dammit, Rey!” He turned and pounded the wall with his fists. “Why are you still in denial?”

“I-I…I don’t…” Rey stammered, not sure how to convince him, let alone convince herself, that leaving was for the best.

“Don’t you see, Rey? If you don’t choose me, you choose death.” When Rey stared at him in confused silence, he continued, “The Supreme Leader has sensed our…connection. He is afraid, I can feel it. He won’t risk us joining together against him. He wants you out of the picture. He demanded I bring you to him. If I do, you are dead. If, instead, I let you go, he will hunt you down and kill you, probably slowly. I guarantee it ends poorly either way.”

Horrified, Rey said, “Then what the hell are we doing?”

“Join me and we can defeat Snoke together. He won’t suspect my betrayal. Neither of us are safe until he is dead.” After a long pause, “I can’t lose you. I won’t.”

Rey’s mind reeled with this new information. Snoke wanted her dead. Kylo Ren wanted to save her. And not just save her, but help her bring down Snoke. All she needed to do was…what?

“How does all of this,” she gestured between them, “fit into your plan? Seducing me to solidify my allegiance? Lure me in and then use me to take control of the First Order?” She eyed him with renewed distrust.

“This,” he mimicked her gesture between them, “has nothing to do with it.”

“I don’t need a knight in black armor to rescue me. I’m not going to keep falling for this act…falling for you. I’m a fool and you…you’re sick.”

“Don’t _taunt me_!” he bellowed, outraged. “If I could erase you from my mind I would not hesitate! I would deliver you to Snoke and be done with it! But you invade my every waking moment, tormenting me mercilessly. You have haunted me from the moment I was informed of your presence in this world. And now you stand before me, powerful…beautiful…tempting. You are drowning me and I cannot stop myself.” As he spoke he edged closer to Rey, so that by the time he stopped she was close enough to reach out and touch. Kylo Ren’s heart pounded in his chest after finally vocalizing the feelings that had plagued him for so long. He hungered for her, to taste her lips again, to feel her delicate body under his powerful hands.

Rey struggled to compose a sensible thought in her head. She looked up into his face, noting the way his was jaw clenched and his lips pursed in what looked like agony. She had whiplash of the mind, if such a thing existed. Just like earlier, she felt the sincerity in every word he spoke. Though she could hardly comprehend what he was telling her, deep down she believed him. Still, she had to be sure. “How do I know this isn’t all some sadistic act that Snoke put you up to?”

“Rey, you need to trust me.”

“I have seen what you can do to people who get in your way. I will not subject myself to that fate. If I am to die then I would have it come swiftly. I won’t have my life drawn out just to pleasure you,” Rey stated, gaining confidence and volume as she spoke.

Her words did not sit well with Kylo Ren. “Is that what you think of me, Rey? That I am looking for some slave to ‘pleasure me’?”

“I don’t…” Rey began to rebuke but was quickly interrupted.

“I have never desired someone like I desire you.” His voice was husky and his eyes eager. _I feel your body, even as we stand here, craving mine too,_ he purred in her head.

Rey did not need to reach out through their bond to confirm his words. His intense need filled the very air around them. “Yes, but it’s not right. It’s not the Jedi way; I took the vows.”

“Damn the vows. Damn everyone and everything except us.”

“Damn you for doing this to me,” Rey breathed as she felt herself caving to his powerful will.

“Damn you for making me wait…” Ren muttered as he closed the small gap between them and slammed Rey back into the wall. She winced at the impact, but met his lips when they rushed down to hers. Rey moaned quietly as her body tensed and heat throbbed in her lower abdomen. He moved one hand to Rey’s hip and pressed his pelvis into hers. She groaned when she felt his hardness against her. Now he was pulling her towards the upturned table to their right. Their entwined bodies moved slowly, but they reached the table and Kylo Ren righted it effortlessly without breaking the embrace. He lifted Rey off of her feet and sat her down roughly on the now upright table. As he leaned in to kiss her, his hands found the top button on her flight suit and began fumbling with it clumsily. He managed to free it and yanked the top of her shirt open. He leaned down and kissed her collarbone, and then trailed his lips up to her neck. He paused there and moaned against her throat. She sighed with pleasure and reached down to help unbutton the remainder of her suit. Their fingers clashed and groped awkwardly at the buttons. Frustrated, Kylo gave up and tore through the last few buttons; he ripped the suit back off her shoulders to expose her bare chest and stomach. He paused, studying her slender waist and her perfectly rounded breasts. Aroused to an uncomfortable degree, Kylo reached for his trousers and began tearing at the belt that bound them. When his belt had been flung to the ground, Kylo straightened up, cupped Rey’s jaw in his hands and pulled her face back towards his. Their lips hesitated, mere centimeters apart, and their eyes bore into each other, blazing with desire and need. Rey’s insides squirmed, heat rushing to her belly. She was drowning in him, and she knew the farther it went the harder it would be to save herself.

In a moment of panic, logic returned to Rey’s mind and she pushed him away forcefully and hurried to her feet. _What have I allowed to happen?_ she thought. _This is not right._

In response to her sudden movement, and undoubtedly due to his new found ability to read her thoughts, Kylo froze. Their eyes met and they held each other’s stares, unsure of what to say or how to say it. Looking into his dark eyes, Rey briefly wondered if this would ever happen again…would she even want it to happen again? Shaking off the disturbing thought, Rey released his gaze and turned her back to him.

“I need to leave,” she said quietly. She hurriedly pulled the flight suit back up over her shoulders and began awkwardly re-buttoning it to cover her nakedness. _I need to leave,_ she reiterated in her mind for good measure; to assure him or herself, she wasn’t sure.

Kylo Ren just stared at her back, pleading with her silently to change her mind. When she failed to do so after a few agonizing moments, he begged her once more. _Rey. Please._

_I’m sorry._

Rey turned back to face him and Kylo Ren lowered his gaze. Rey could see the pain in his eyes and feel his misery through the Force. She also felt her own pain, as she longed for any possible situation in which she could stay with him. But she could not forsake her training, her friends, or herself by turning to the dark side. She turned and headed slowly for the door. Kylo Ren followed her to the doorway.

“Take the fourth hallway on your right. It will lead you straight to one of the secondary hangars. You shouldn’t have much company.” Kylo said, the distress apparent in his voice.

Rey was shocked by his instructions, let alone his willingness to let her leave. “What will happen with Snoke?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” he replied honestly, eyes still downcast.

“Kylo, I…” Rey started to say, but was quickly interrupted.

_Leave._

Despite the agony she felt in parting with him, Rey knew she couldn’t take back her words. With one last glance in his direction, Rey exited the chamber and disappeared from sight. Kylo Ren looked up when the door had shut behind her and cried out in agony. Before he knew what was happening, his lightsaber was in his hand. Blindly, he began slashing and hacking at the walls, the furniture, the floor. He continued until the entire room lay in smoldering ruins. He sank to the ground and buried his head in his hands. He would probably never see her again. Perhaps that would be for the best. Right now what mattered was dealing with Snoke. Once he learned of Rey’s escape, the Supreme Leader would come for him. But he would be ready. He would fight…probably his last fight.

A wave of relief crashed over his body; not his own relief, but a shadow of Rey’s own emotions. He knew then that she had successfully stolen a ship and fled the planet. Every second that passed took her farther away. It didn’t matter, he told himself. Rey was just a distraction, anyways.


	6. Chapter 6

**3 years, 1 month**

The pain started as a dull ache behind her eyes, pulsing in time with her heart. Then it grew, spreading from her head to her core, and then shooting to her limbs in white hot flashes of lightning. The pain seized her body, electrocuting every cell and taking her breath away. Rey’s legs gave out and she collapsed to the floor. Somewhere, lightyears away, Kylo Ren was being tortured. The agony, though dulled by distance, was unlike anything she had ever experienced. No beating from dirty scavengers, nor mind invasions from Kylo Ren compared to the torment that now seemed to strip the flesh off of her bones. Concerned voices filled the air around her. She couldn’t make out what they were saying, but their hands grabbed and shook her, and someone lifted her into the air. After an eternity or three minutes, Rey felt softness beneath her, and then more hands poking and prodding her body. The agonized screams of Kylo Ren filled Rey’s mind, drowning out her true surroundings. Through the pain, she tried to call out to him, to soothe his burning nerves, but only more pain echoed back through the bond. Rey was unaware of how much time passed as she lay on the medical table, but eventually the pain took her and she feel into unconsciousness.

Rey dreamed of a dark chamber and a wretched old man. Brilliant flashes of blue lightning rendered her temporarily blind. From the shadows, a young, dark haired man appeared. Blood seeped from numerous places on his body, and a single pale scar ran the length of his face. His expression was deranged, and the corners of his mouth turned up in a wicked grin. The decrepit older man cowered on the ground, hands held high in a defensive position. The younger man ignited a gleaming red lightsaber and, with a deadly stroke, severed the head of the older man.

Rey awoke with a start. An absurd happiness filled the void in her chest and radiated outward to warm the tips of her fingers and toes. She smiled reflexively, despite the disgust pooling in her stomach. It was then that Rey connected the dots: the torture, the vision, the joy. Snoke had discovered the truth of Kylo’s actions three months ago on the First Order ship – how he had let Rey escape – and had punished him severely. She presumed that Kylo must have somehow turned the tables and managed to strike Snoke down. Kylo Ren had succeeded, she knew. This was not the first time they had shared emotions and physical sensations across their bond, but it had never occurred in such a violent and overwhelming manner. Since their last encounter on the First Order ship four months ago, Rey had largely managed to shut out her connection to Kylo Ren, though she knew he wasn’t attempting to push through. However, she had been subject to co-experiencing a few moments of extreme emotion or physical pain. She had ignored these feelings in the past, partly in an attempt to concentrate on her own continued training with Master Luke, and partly to her convince herself that any pain Kylo Ren felt was none of her concern. That she was unaffected by his suffering and cognizance of impending defeat at Snoke’s hands. Now though, as she sat basking in the bizarre elation emanating from across their bond, she knew it could not be ignored.

Rey sat up on the padded cot and called out to the nearest attendant. She requested immediate council with Luke. Luckily, Luke and General Organa had been pacing outside the medbay and were quickly by Rey’s side. She gave them both a detailed account of what had happened. The duo listened thoughtfully at her words, their expressions unreadable. Once she finished recounting the events, they stared in deep thought before Luke finally broke the silence.

“Is there any possibility that Snoke is still alive? That this vision was somehow misinterpreted, or meant to fool you?” Luke asked.

Rey considered that carefully, ignoring the ache in her stomach at the possibility of Kylo manipulating her, before deciding that she was confident in her initial assessment. “No, I am sure. The vision…it really happened. I can’t explain how I know, but I do. Kylo defeated Snoke…Kylo will now rise as Supreme Leader.”

Leia’s face darkened at that, but she quickly pulled herself back together. “Is there anything else you saw in the vision that may help us identify their location?”

“No, it was in a chamber. A vast chamber, underground most likely, but that doesn’t exactly narrow it down.

The debriefing lasted for over two hours, until Luke and Leia were satisfied that they knew all of the relevant information about Snoke’s defeat and Kylo Ren’s ascension to head of the First Order. Rey was exhausted once they departed, but the medical attendant insisted she spend the night in observation before they were comfortable releasing her. Annoyed but not wanting to start a fight, Rey consented and sunk down into the uncomfortable bed, waiting for sleep.

_Rey?_ The voice, his voice, appeared in her head. Despite her best efforts to remain neutral, Rey couldn’t help but feel relief, and something much more sinister, at hearing his voice.

_Kylo? What happened? Are you okay?_

_Rey. I defeated him; I defeated Snoke. He found out about what happened, and he tried to kill me for it._

_I’m sorry Kylo, I…_

_Listen to me, Rey. This is the last chance for you to leave the Resistance and join me. Things are going to be different now; I can’t just ignore you and stay out of your way. If we aren’t allies, we will be enemies. Please, Rey. Join me and help me conquer this galaxy._ His voice was soft and imploring in her head.

_You know what my answer is. I can’t join you, Kylo. You know I can’t._

_I don’t want to hurt you._

_You don’t have to._

_You don’t understand_ , he retorted, though Rey felt that he was the one that didn’t understand.

_I’m sorry, Kylo_ , she said, but got no response. _Kylo?_

The voice was gone as quickly as it had come. The walls she usually kept up to block the connection were back, but this time from his side of the bond. Rey’s breath caught in her throat. She was no surer of her decision now than she had been months ago when Kylo begged her to join his cause. She felt sick to her stomach; the utter silence of the connection drowned out her own thoughts and threatened to overwhelm her. Thick, hot tears rolled down her cheeks. She was not sure what this change would bring, but she knew it wasn’t good. Terror swelled in her mind for her friends’ safety, for her own safety, and for the wellbeing of the one person she knew she shouldn’t care about, but couldn’t stop thinking of.


	7. Chapter 7

**5 years, 2 months**

“It must be done, General,” Admiral Ackbar asserted, looking around the room for affirmation. At his words, the other leaders nodded and murmured in consent. Only a few people in the room failed to agree with his words. Rey scanned the faces of the officers standing around the room. Luke’s face well hid his grief, but she could feel his pain through the Force. Chewbacca was less composed; the despair was evident on his face. Rey’s eyes finally settled on Leia as she waited with the rest of the group for the General’s response. Like Chewie, Leia’s suffering was clear in her expression and in the strained sound of her voice when she finally spoke.

“I will not deny that my son has committed crimes beyond reproach. Crimes I cannot bear to consider. He has betrayed our cause and his family with heinous acts,” a flash of anguish crossed her face. “I cannot expect anyone here to forgive or trust him, but that does not mean I am willing to give up on him completely.”

Admiral Statura spoke then, and his words were kind but strict: “General Organa, I would never presume to understand the pain you must be experiencing. Surely I speak for everyone here when I offer condolences for the suffering you and your family have endured. However, this is not a time for sentiment and second, nay, hundredth chances. This is war, and Kylo Ren is our declared enemy. He has lead the First Order to many victories over the past two years, and if we do not act now he will destroy the Resistance for good. Now is the time to strike. Now is the time to cut off the head of the snake and seize back control from the First Order. How many innocent lives have been lost at the hands of your son? How many more innocent lives are you willing to lose?” The quiet murmuring around the room grew louder as the Resistance officers chimed in their support and agreement with Statura. Leia never faltered from Statura’s heavy gaze, but her voice was resigned when she spoke.

“I cannot deny the truth in your words. Thank you, Admiral Ackbar and Admiral Statura for your advice,” she sighed heavily and then raised her voice to address the whole room. “For too long I have let me personal motivations interfere with the goals of the Resistance. I believed there was still light in my son…perhaps there is. But I cannot lead the Resistance to victory on wishes and a mother’s dream.” Leia paused briefly, working up the courage to utter the words that needed to be said. “I will authorize the mission you have proposed. Send the fleet to launch an air-raid on Rakata Prime; once the First Order is occupied with the air assault, send in the ground troops to invade the base on foot. Recover Kylo Ren…by whatever means necessary.”

Rey shivered as a chill ran down her spine. She sat in anguish as Admiral Ackbar began discussing plans for the mission. She saw Luke and Chewie exchange a weary glance, and watched as Leia sat in silence, her eyes unfocused and her thoughts surely elsewhere. Suddenly, the air around Rey was stifling and hot. Her throat constricted, unwilling to allow air to flow freely. Rey stood up and raced to the exit, ignoring the suspicious eyes that followed her all the way.

Once she reached the safety of the _Millennium Falcon_ , Rey sank to her knees and succumbed to sobs that wracked her entire body. They were going to kill him. She knew it shouldn’t be affecting her like it was, but she couldn’t help it. He had come to mean something to her…something she never intended. Sure, she hadn’t seen him in over two years. In fact, she hadn’t even communicated with him through their bond in that time. But she could still feel his presence in the back of her mind, gently comforting her whenever she needed peace.

Rey’s mind whirled as she wondered how she could fight against Kylo Ren. Sure, they had fought before, and naturally, they were enemies; but that was before. Before she had realized the depth of their connection, the depth of her feelings for him. Slowly the sobs ceased, and eventually Rey’s breathing returned to normal. After years of conflicted feelings concerning Kylo Ren, Rey finally had clarity. She knew exactly what she needed to do. Perhaps she had known all along, but couldn’t admit it until now. _If Kylo Ren won’t join the light side,_ she thought _, then he must be defeated._


	8. Chapter 8

**5 years, 2 months, 1 week**

“Get down!” Finn bellowed across the battlefield. Rey dropped hard to the ground just in time to avoid being skewered by what appeared to be a rouge section of an X-Wing soaring past. Rey hastily nodded to Finn to indicate that she was okay, and silently prayed that the X-Wing shrapnel did not belong to Poe’s ship.

All around her, Rakata Prime was in chaos. Flames licked the trees from explosions and blaster shots gone awry, screams and battle cries filled the air, and bodies of stormtroopers and Resistance fighters alike lay scattered on the ground. Rey closed her eyes and focused her mind on him. All too quickly, the familiar feel of Kylo Ren tugged at the back of her mind. This time the connection was stronger; Rey knew he was close. Opening her eyes, Rey came face-to-face with Finn, who was panting from the long sprint to her side.

“Where is he?” Finn whispered urgently.

“He’s here.”

_Yes, I’m here._ Rey started as the deep voice sprang into her consciousness. The voice she hadn’t heard in over two years. _Look up._

Rey realized that she had fallen back to her knees with her head on the ground upon hearing the voice in her head. As his words sank in, Rey raised her eyes and squinted across the burning field. There, beneath a clump of pine trees, stood the tall, dark figure of Kylo Ren. A shimmer of metal caught Rey’s attention and she removed her eyes from Kylo just long enough to notice Captain Phasma standing next to him in her chrome armor. The pair were accompanied by an ensemble of stormtroopers poised to fight. Rey rose to her feet, eyes still glued to Kylo Ren, as Finn barked orders to the nearby soldiers to fall into formation. From the trees behind Rey, Luke emerged, quickly assessed the situation, and stepped in line beside Finn. Prepared for battle, the two forces stood in tense silence, neither making the first move.

_Please, Kylo_. Rey directed the thought across the field as a desperate last attempt to change his mind.

_Stand down, Rey,_ Kylo responded softly in her head, his words twisting themselves into a plea. Rey’s heart sank; there was no turning back now. She had to stand with the Resistance. Sensing the new found resolution in Rey, Luke bellowed a command to the troops. The Resistance fighters responded immediately by surging forward to the waiting army, releasing blast after blast from their weapons as they charged. Startled out of her nightmarish trance, Rey discharged both sides of her saberstaff and began hacking away at a group of nearby stormtroopers.

A piercing scream penetrated the mundane battle sounds around Rey. She scanned her surroundings frantically, her heart in her throat, until she spotted the source of the cry. Finn was lying on the ground in a heap, blood blossoming through the back of his grey uniform. Half yelling and half crying, Rey raced to where Finn lay dying and placed her hands vainly over his weeping wound. “Finn, Finn, Finn,” she sobbed as she attempted to shake life back into his body.

_Rey, move!_ The panicked voice of Kylo Ren seared inside of Rey’s mind. Preoccupied with the Finn’s limp body, Rey was slow to process his words and had only just begun to dive sideways when she was hit in the chest by a crippling force. The laser blast that had been discharged from Phasma’s blaster had hit her square on and left her breathless; heat flared across her chest and she could hardly process a thought through the pain of searing flesh.

“REY!” Kylo Ren bellowed as he bolted across the battlefield towards her. In one sweeping arm movement, Kylo tossed Phasma aside into a tree; the crack of her neck breaking upon the tree could be heard even over the deafening sounds of the battle. Before Kylo could reach Rey, Luke had raced to her side and was now holding her head in his wrinkled hands. After what felt like an eternity in Kylo’s mind, he reached Rey and sent Luke flying with a flick of his wrist. Luke scrambled to his feet and ran back to where the now unmasked Kylo kneeled with Rey’s head in his lap. This time he stayed back and watched the scene unfold.

“Rey, stay with me,” Kylo pleaded in a thick voice. Tears welled in the corners of his eyes as he glanced down at the ever-weakening Rey.

“Kylo…” Rey sighed.

“I’m so sorry, Rey. I’m sorry. This is my fault. I never should have-”

“Kylo,” Rey repeated, quieter this time. Kylo Ren bent down and rested his ear mere inches from Rey’s mouth. Almost imperceptibly, Rey murmured in his ear, “I’m sorry.”

“What could you possibly be sorry for-?” Kylo groaned through the tears that now spilled freely down his cheeks. A loud crackling noise sounded and Kylo Ren’s eyes widened. He looked down at the glowing blue stream lodged into his abdomen. Confused, his eyes flitted back and forth between the saberstaff blade nestled in his gut, and the hilt grasped in Rey’s shaking hand. _I’m sorry, Kylo. I had to._

The weight of the situation began to dawn on Kylo. Slowly, he reached up and brushed the stray hair off of Rey’s forehead. _I loved you._ With those last three words, Kylo collapsed beside Rey with her saberstaff still wedged in his stomach. Simultaneously, a single tear slid down Rey’s cheek and she sighed and closed her eyes for the last time.

Luke watched the scene in utter disbelief. Somewhere in the distance a stormtrooper called to his troops to retreat. Luke didn’t notice the stormtroopers fleeing from the battle field, nor did he care. Finn, Rey and Ben. The future of the Force; the future of the galaxy. Time seemed to stand still as the battle ended and the Resistance troops rejoiced around him. The next time Luke became aware of his surroundings must have been hours later; the sun had set and the bodies of the fallen soldiers were being rounded up and identified. Poe stood above Luke and helped him struggle to his feet. Luke and Poe exchanged a burdened look before enveloping each other in a heartbreaking embrace. After a few minutes of grieved silence, the pair limped off the battlefield, Poe’s arm draped comfortingly around Luke’s shoulder. Neither man was prepared to face the world again, but each knew deep down that the Resistance would need them now more than ever to piece back together the tatters of the galaxy.


End file.
